Holding Opposites

We love stories that reinforce our view of reality. Once our brains have gone to the trouble of committing tens of millions of neuro transmitters to learning a story, we like to keep it going. We have a bias for keeping our old stories in tact even when they no longer reflect reality.  We believe that people who tell similar stories are smart and attractive, while those who tell opposing stories are suspect or worse.

We don't like stories that vary too much from our own, and this can get us into a heap of trouble in the dynamic world we inhabit. How can we learn to hold two seemingly opposing stories in our head without jumping to the one that is closest to the story we already know? In 5 element terms, how can we increase our awareness without shutting out difference?

Sami Adwan, a Palestinian born near Hebron and Dan Bar-On, a social psychologist at Ben Gurion University has developed a powerful tool that increases awareness. The university has produced a series of booklets for both Arab and Israeli students, forcing each side to confront a contradictory story of history. Each booklet is divided into three sections: the Palestinian and Israeli narratives and a third section left blank for the student to fill in. Adwan says that the point is not to accept the opposing stories but to recognize that each side sees the same historical event differently.

Learning that people can see the same external event very differently increases awareness. And awareness is the essential element that allows a more complete transformation. In this case a transformation from violence to peace.